I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
