Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
