"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
