talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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