That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
