somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She just used a chaser for red wine.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
