Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I need to calm my uterus...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
