It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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