Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
