I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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