I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
