everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
