I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
