Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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