we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
