This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
