I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
