I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just cropdusted the office
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
