Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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