I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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