I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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