Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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