Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
