well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
