...so i touched it.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Randomize
