I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
