I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You pole danced in your parka.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
