Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
