dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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