Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
