She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
