2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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