Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
