Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize