I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
