I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
