WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
