If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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