I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
