This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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