I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
