Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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