New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
