The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
