Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
