Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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