is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
