i can't believe i had my finger in that
smell my finger.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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