Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
if only i could text you this smell
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
