I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
